Locals Before Legends

Is Prayer The Ultimate Method of Telepathy?

“For a long time, people were trying to figure out what you knew about the voices,” I heard out of the blue one morning.

I’ve been disgnosed with schizophrenia since 2004, and did not know at that time that other spirits and hallucinatory characters were thinking for me in my own voice. Not until 2016, that is.

So wait, could other people hear my thoughts the whole time, even before I was diagnosed? Worrying about this for just a couple of months can make you want to pack some bags and take a long trip somewhere else, and if you’re not wealthy enough to travel, maybe just a hotel room until you do run out of money.

“There’s nothing to worry about,” one of the voices said, and a character crawled across my couch and lightly back-handed, more like grazed, my left shoulder. It’s often the bad characters’ way of trying to make me stop doing things that make sense, or are productive in spite of my condition, such as writing about mental health.

Delusions of telepathy and paranoia together often intersect when I’m wondering what others are thinking about me. Trying to do what you can to change what others think of you has roots in paranoia, but trying to explain yourself to a hallucinatory character trapped and climbing on the wall in your apartment comes from a mix of a paranoia, delusions and hallucinations. It’s a perpetual psychosis and long-term loss of touch with reality that makes schizophrenia unique.

If hallucinatory characters and voices are trying to think for you in your own voice, you may notice signs of brainwashing going on, so for some, any amount of talking back or internally “thinking back” to them can actually help. It’s important for people with schizophrenia who are homeless to not speak aloud to themselves too much. Some people (humans) will think they’re a part of your telepathic delusion or spiritual experience, or that you’re talking to them.

I wouldn’t doubt if a lot of people with schizophrenia who are able to manage to slow the voices down some, eventually find themselves speaking very slowly with other humans. Picking the appropriate words to merely think to yourself alone, can create very slow verbal communication when speaking to other real humans verbally. The psychological trauma from my schizophrenia experience affects my body, often via fatigue, even if I have few physical responsibilities that day.

I knew hardly anything about the voices before 2016. That was the same year I started praying every day, and I still pray quite a bit. I think that the difficult times I went through were part of a road towards God, since I never faced much known difficulty in my life prior to 2016, unless I was under traumatic amnesia, and grew closer to God after. I believe that prayer is the highest form of telepathic communication. How do people who say telepathy is not real expect anyone to gain communication with God?

I hope that more can be learned and shared about schizophrenia in the future.

Poem 1

Hello! I hope you’re all doing well! I wrote a poem recently. Some of it pertains to mental health, the pandemic and resources. I hope you enjoy it!

“Art supplies and illustration artboards are car parts for an all new line of sustainable motor vehicles.

I don’t even want my pen to be portable.

Internal language goes on billboards in the form of chewable paraphrases.

Spin misnomers.

They tell lies to get over.

And custody battles unfold over Mars rovers.

I used to walk on highway shoulders.

In the hot and cold.

Now half the planet’s got a snotty nose.

With skin rashes and covid toe.

Through the smell of fresh cut grass and the sound of melting snow.

Bundle up for mental health Olympic sport.

There’s no bronze, silver or gold.

It’s all about the anticipated skin tone.

Longer limbs and flatter noses.

If we want to social distance.

And not smell the pandemic roses.

Family members who keep their internet devices closest.

Funny poses and painted on smiles in front of pocket cameras.

The mental health janitor.”

What The Voices Are Telling Me About Cloning and Virtual Reality

Hello! I hope you’re all doing well! Before I begin writing about what the hallucinatory characters and voices in my schizophrenia experience have been saying to me recently, I’d like to update the readers on my condition and treatment.

I just recently had an appointment with my psychiatrist. The voices I’ve been hearing in the last month have been mostly supportive in nature, so I think I’ve been hearing good voices moreso than bad ones in that time. My therapist and I are going to come up with a new, revised treatment plan. More social interaction and better balance in my diet are two things I would like to improve upon.

Just within the past 2-3 months, some of the voices have been talking to me about human cloning and virtual reality. Some want me to learn more about those two things, some want me to keep that stuff off my search engine history and some don’t want me to know anything about any of it at all.

I think it was 2000 or 2001 when scientists were cloning pigs. It was big news at the time, but just before news feeds on the internet became popular, so the amount of public feedback on that news was muffled, compared to what it could have been in 2022.

“They want to clone you,” one of the voices ever so often says to me. It’s been coming up more often.

“If you get your life taken, they could have your clone live your life after your remains are incinerated or buried or whatever. They would have your clone believing, thinking, saying and doing a lot of things that you would not want to be associated with, that goes for the physical and telepathy.”

Another voice chided, “They could make your clone a (homosexual) version of you! And it could even have it’s own famous website or TV show or podcast!”

I do not want this to happen. I think the chances are slim that this could happen. But I know that there are people out there who I’ve never met before who know more about my life than I do. People have said some very strange and intelligent things to me that I don’t understand.

There have been big announcements about a virtual reality world that the current internet community is about to dive into. You’ve likely heard of it. It’s name has 3 syllables. The voices I hear do not want me to say, think or type it’s name. I’m not exactly sure why.

“People are going to feel other people’s online accounts touching them through character creation with those goggles on. It’s going to give a lot of people psychosis (schizophrenia symptoms) when they aren’t wearing the goggles, then they’ll get addicted to the goggles. People are already talking about people living with those goggles on or contact-lenses in, but they’re not talking about the people who are going to pass away with their goggles on, go to the afterlife, and think they’ll never get out of the esrevatem because they’re chosen by God.”

Once someone enters that stage in the afterlife there is likely a mountain of terrible things they’d do to keep their “goggles on”. The afterlife is something that the voices talk to me about quite often.

In closing, I do think that a lot of new technology is made with the intent of training the population to take an easy route to evil with current life rewards along the way, but distracting the population from the longer and more difficult route towards good. evil is easy to attain and maintain. Good comes with knowing how bad things can be at different stages of our lives and working toward a great afterlife experience. I have not read or researched much about cloning and virtual reality.

Sometimes, I wish the voices would at least talk to me about self-care and how I can help myself even more, instead of presenting ideas that fuel paranoia.

I am diagnosed with schizophrenia. If the term “schizophrenia” is changed to sound nicer one day, I would think that people would have more room to talk about the voices they all hear in their heads, but didn’t want to be disgnosed with something that sounds as horrible as the word “schizophrenia”.

Please take care as the weather is changing around the Earth. I hope more can be learned about schizophrenia in the future.

Peace (2), Love (1), Knowledge (3), Understanding (4) and Respect (5).

I Saw A Large Cat On XMas Night

Hello! I hope you’re all doing well!

The voices that I hear in my schizophrenia experience have told me interesting things about cats for a few years. Even as a very young kid I would draw large, wild cats, and loved going to the zoo (though now, I think all animals are better in the wild).

The voices I hear will tell me all kinds of somewhat mythological or superstitious things about cats.

“Every DJ should have a cat,” some will say. I do not have any cats or dogs, but I do have a record collection.

“You should own a cat, sweetie,” one female voice just said. I think it’s a great idea, but it would likely create a new monthly bill as well. Plus, they seem to be more difficult to find if they become lost from the owner’s home. I don’t know how I would feel about that.

I would like a black cat, but the one I saw tonight was, “the tawniest cat you’ve seen…”, as described by one of my favorite and often funniest voices/characters.

It did not look like a full-grown mountain lion, but it didn’t look like a bobcat either.

For several hours today, I heard some rustling behind the line of trees behind my mom’s duplex. We were having a small family gathering.

About 2 hours after sunset, I was on the side door patio and heard the rustling again. I looked into the line of trees in the dark.

Even though it was dark outside, I could make out a light-colored cat emerge from behind the neighboring duplex and walk into a brief clearing between the 2 duplexes and behind the back of my mom’s house. But in the middle of that, I quickly opened the side door and flipped on a light switch inside to turn on the patio light.

In that time, the cat appeared very light in color, but not white. It had darker spots I could only see on it’s tail. The bright light all of a sudden illuminated it’s eyes into some kind of reflective light of it’s own. It’s face was somewhat flat. For it’s frame, the upper jaws looked big. It’s tail was relatively long. It was probably 3.5 to 4 feet long from head to tail. I don’t remember much about it’s ears. It looked very confident.

Then it disappeared behind my mom’s duplex.

At first, I described it to my family as what might have been a bobcat. But it didn’t take me long to, at least in my own mind, lean more towards mountain lion cub.

It seemed like it was nearly 70 degrees on XMas today. Parts of the country might end up with the warmest winter on record. I think warm weather this late in the year is causing animals to act differently, regardless as to what kind of cat that thing actually was.

I hope more can be learned about climate change and schizophrenia in the future. Please take care as the weather is changing around the Earth.-Chris Milbourn

Some Of The Voices Want Me To Think That I Invented Serato

Hello! I hope you’re all doing well! As a practicing DJ based in the USA, there are more than a couple of upcoming (or “forthcoming” as some music bloggers used to say/write) albums and music releases that I’m looking forward to.

One is Strange Days by drum & bass duo, Paul T and Edward Oberon. I really want to order the vinyl! Looking at the multi-colored album artwork for that album online brought me to a memory of a drawing I made and posted on djforums.com around 2005. I was in my very early 20s then, had just been diagnosed with schizophrenia, and had just bought turntables, a mixer, amp, speakers and grew a vinyl record collection in my parents’ basement. I was also writing and drawing quite a bit.

Around that time, I made a drawing to illustrate my old understanding of beatmatching (a term for utilizing turntables and a mixer for aligning the drum beats of 2 different songs in auditory form). This was before visual representations for songs and “waveforms” on a laptop screen became a trend in DJ culture. DJs are relying on their eyes to mix waveforms they see on a laptop screen more now, as opposed to when DJs were using their ears to mix with vinyl.

Serato and other companies created software to enable waveforms for DJing with nearly any piece of recorded sound in a digital format. Around 2007, the phenomena gained popularity with DJs who then decided to buy laptops and sell their vinyl record collections.

I do not have the original drawing still, and unfortunately for this blog entry. But I decided to recreate it today from the best of my memory. Here’s the recent mock I drew based on my memory of the old drawing:

It was basically giving an image to 2 different beats, each with 2 quarter notes, which are not aligned in an attempt to beatmatch. I was likely not having much success with DJing at that time, and wanted to put the old drawing on djforums.com to show more experienced DJs what I was doing.

If I made that drawing around 2005, and waveform software didn’t arrive to the mainstream until 2007, then there’s a huge possibility that I clearly invented Serato and pioneered a grand revolution in music performance, right?

Wrong. I admire Serato’s products quite a lot, and used Serato software for about 10 years, but I’ve never worked for them, and I don’t know what they were thinking when they created their groundbreaking software.

Regardless, these are the kinds of granidose delusions that I, and a lot of people with my condition, endure.

Thank you for reading, and I hope that others with mental health difficulties do not get too superstitious with today’s football and soccer games. Please take care as the weather is changing around the Earth.-Chris Milbourn