Sometime between 2019 and 2021, I was at a doctor’s office to see if they could help with my digestive problems and I told them about the trauma I experienced from 2016-2019 that I think caused it. The doctor, Dr. Beth McGinnis at Kansas City Family Medical Care, told me that I probably have traumatic memory loss, a condition or cause for why I don’t remember much about the trauma that I went through. After I learned this, I wasn’t as comfortable around women (I am heterosexual), because the voices in my schizophrenia experience began telling me about all of the people I had sexual relationships with that I didn’t remember having, including molestation and rape done to me. I began hearing voices also telling me about all of the concerts I went to and the oral sex I gave or was forced on me while I was invited backstage or in traffic or whatever, and I have no memory of most of these things. I do not want to be a rape toy. I carry a lot of the physical and mental markings and appearance of someone who’s been raped a lot, with no memory of hardly any of it. Father God has blessed me to at least know why my body is the way it is, because no one (that I remember) has ever told me in real life about myself being a rape toy with my memory of the rapes/trauma being removed. I have not been in a sexual relationship with a woman in about 8 years because I have so much trauma. I had a satanic rape done to me when I was around 5 years old, so I think that a lot of “would-be” “consensual” sexual relationships were removed from my memory by traumatic memory loss as well, unfortunately.
Here are some pictures of some tweets I wrote recently about pornography. I do “jack off” often.
